今天，有个朋友心情不好。虽然他没向我诉苦，不过他也告诉了我什么事。他不想多说，也不想再提。
There's a friend who's not in a good mood today. Although he told me what happened, he didn't want to say much.
他的事，让我想起一年前的这段时间，我在忙着申请奖学金，忙着着急等待奖学金的成绩，忙着被拒绝，忙着担心拿不到奖学金差点要放弃来牛津。
What happened reminded me of a year ago, when I was busy applying for scholarship, busy worrying about the result of scholarship, busy being rejected, busy worrying about not getting scholarship and have to give up on coming to Oxford.
还记得当时发了好多的电邮，给各个不同的大学、组织、公司。没一个给我机会，没面试就被拒绝了。有面试的，过了不久都被拒绝了。几乎马来西亚每间大学都收到我的电邮。也发了给不少公司，甚至发了给新加坡的公司。完全没有丝毫的可能性。
I still remember I sent so many emails to different universities, organisations and companies but none had given an opportunity, even without interviewing. Even for those with interview, I was rejected not long after. Almost every Malaysian universities received my email. I had also sent it to a lot of companies, even to companies in Singapore. But none, has shown any possibility.
要延续之前拿着的奖学金，却又还没公开，不让我申请。拖了又拖，就拖到了我需要向college呈上经济来源的截止日期了。当时才终于可以申请，还没面试呢！好不容易和college拖了多一阵子，还是等不到申请奖学金的outcome。还好，college肯在最后的截止日期过后的一个星期接受我所呈上的经济来源证明。虽然在呈上的过程中也遇到了很多挫折，需要我一直来回向牛津大学和奖学金的负责人发电邮。
Thought of extending the scholarship that funded me for my undergraduate, but the application was not opened yet. I have waited for so long until the date I need to submit to my college documents regarding my financial source. Finally it was opened for application. That's not saying about interview yet. I tried to procrastinate with my college, but still the result of the scholarship was even slower. Thank God that my college still accepted the documents on financial source even it was one week after the deadline. Though there were some problems during submission, that I needed to keep exchanging emails between Oxford University and scholarship provider, even on the bus travelling around.
还没完呢！等着ATAS，奖学金的financial affidavit，department说再迟些就要迟一个学期register了。但是奖学金方面又不让我迟一个学期。只好一直赶着。最后在要出发的一个星期才确定机票，拿到visa，作身体检查。为了这些，最后那半年也只回了家一个星期。
That's not all! When I was waiting for ATAS and financial affidavit from scholarship provider, the department said I need to delay my registration for one term if I need more time to reach here. However my scholarship provider doesn't allow me to delay for a term, so I just have to rush for everything. I only confirmed my flight ticket in the last week, got the visa, did my body check. To do all these, I was only able to go home for a week in that six months before I came to Oxford.
上飞机前，行李超重，要再调整才能登记。等飞机的时候，以为可以好好慢慢的等了，结果槟城下吉隆坡的飞机延迟了。上了机，飞机有问题，要下机。等到下一班机，终于可以下吉隆坡。下了机，就直接冲向国际候机室。下机不到十分钟就要上机了。
Before getting on the flight, my luggage was overweight, so I need to adjust before checking in. When I was waiting for boarding, I thought I could just wait comfortably. But then the flight from Penang to KL was delayed. When I got on flight, there was problem with the flight. Finally I reached KL on the next flight. After getting off flight, I went straight to the international boarding hall. It was less than 10 minutes before I got on the next flight.
坐了十三个小时的飞机，到了伦敦，结果我的行李没到。还好我的背包里还有一些衣物。等了两天我的行李终于到了。过后才稍微比较顺利。
After 13 hours of flight, I finally got to London. But not my luggage. It was not too bad, because of the overweight issue, I had some clothes in my bag. My luggage finally arrived after 2 days. After this things finally get smoother.
见老板第二次，就被老板说对我失望。那句话真的是很伤。可是没办法，就努力吧。当时又没和任何人相熟，没人聊，只能自己想办法开解自己。
On the second meeting with my supervisor, he said he is disappointed. It hurts but there's nothing I could do. I could just work harder. I wasn't really close to anyone at that time, nobody to talk to, so I could just comfort myself.
虽然只是来了这里不到一年，辛苦的开始，未必不是一件好事。学会面对拒绝，学会被否定。好像很多的不顺利，可是感谢神还是让我遇到了可以谈心的朋友。至少，在我需要的时候，我有个信任的朋友可以谈。
Although I'm here for less than one year, a though beginning may not be too bad. Learn to face rejection, learn to be denied. It seems to be a lot of troubles but thank God that I'm able to meet someone I can talk to. Someone whom I can trust.
